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Read more It's a never-ending internal dialogue that adds complexity and confusion to aspects of life that are already turbulent — and dating is where it hit me the hardest. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was working against preconceptions and presumptions when dating people outside my race. It felt like I had to overcome barriers that my non-Asian friends didn't have to, and that cost me a lot of confidence over time. I'm in a relationship now, and my partner is white.

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This racial dating behavior on OkCupid actually trended worse for Asian men over a 6 year time frame. And that is of course after scoring points higher on the SAT just to get into elite college to make that kind of dough! Notwithstanding income and SAT scores — even if you are an Asian guy like Kevin Kreider Korean adoptee — who is tall, charismatic and has six pack abs — online dating while being Asian is still quite a challenge.

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We just date and have sex, same as my past relationships. Is this normal? Do people just change preferences like that?

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Liu points to his own experience—when he was younger, he thought being Asian was literally the worst thing that ever happened to him. It affected me, too.

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